While not a guaranteed occurrence, emotional and psychological abuse can and frequently do, turn physical. A primary common factor with abusive partners is a tendency to seek control. Some abusive partners turn to physical approaches if emotionally abusive tactics don’t “work” for them.
Physical abuse could include:
- Unwanted contact (hitting, burning, sex, getting in your space)
- Preventing sleep
- Forcing you to take drugs or alcohol
- Weaponizing nearby objects to cause pain
Transitioning from emotional to physical abuse could be a calculated process, or physical harm can emerge from heightened anger and rage. Regardless of whether physical abuse is present in a relationship, relationships that are abusive in any way are not safe.
Some common warning signs that physical abuse may occur [1]:
- Unpredictable behavior. They might be more easily agitated, and there’s a feeling of having to walk on eggshells.
- Threats to harm you physically or alludes to wishing they could hurt you when you upset them.
- The abuser is rough with inanimate objects or animals or has a past of becoming physically aggressive to past partners, peers, or family members.
- Using blame-shifting to unload the blame onto a victim to appear innocent.
Emotional vs. Physical Abuse
At face value, emotional abuse and physical abuse seem like different things altogether. However, there can be significant overlap between the two forms of domestic violence.
Emotional abuse can include verbal abuse and may not include inflicting physical injuries on the victim. While emotional abuse does not necessarily escalate to physical abuse in every case, physical abuse utilizes emotionally and verbally harmful forms of abuse, such as pressuring, threatening, or manipulating and controlling the victim.
Even if abuse is primarily physical, it is still considered emotionally abusive in nature. Aggressive outbursts with physical contact humiliate the victim intentionally. If the harm caused creates bruising or obvious wounding, the victim will likely change their behavior and routines, perhaps even their clothing, to cover the fact they’re being assaulted.
Can Emotional Abuse Lead to Physical Violence?
When an abusive person verbally threatens to inflict pain on you or someone else, it strongly indicates their willingness to cause physical harm. They may feel as though they do not have the dominance they are entitled to and begin to lash out even more intensely than before to increase perceived control where they previously felt a lack of control.
Observing an escalating pattern of behavior in an abuser can make a victim feel like they’re losing touch with reality based on how the abuser talks to them and makes them feel to blame. The threats no longer feel empty; it may be time to seek outside help.
How Does The Body React to Emotional Abuse?
Reactions to emotional abuse can resemble a trauma response where our survival instincts kick in and serve to protect us from danger. After repeated emotional abuse trauma, a victim may get stuck in a chronic state of hypervigilance. This state can feel like some commonly discussed trauma responses:
- Fight – your body tenses, and you feel like you could fight
- Flight – your body propels you into motion to seek safety away from the aggressor
- Freeze – your body immobilizes, and you feel stuck, not sure what to do
- Fawn- you immediately apologize or otherwise ensure the abuser is not going to get more upset
You may experience a pattern of having the same trauma response most of the time, or you may alternate between fight, flight, freeze, and fawning. These patterns are characteristic of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), commonly diagnosed following an abusive relationship due to the complexity of emotionally abusive partnerships.
Additionally, it’s not unusual for a person with C-PTSD to experience health problems due to their constant state of high alert, which depletes their energy and health over time if nothing changes [2].
Finding Safety: Leaving Abuse
When any type of abuse occurs, acknowledging its seriousness and leaving to get help is hard. The first step is to seek safety from additional physical harm–seek a trusted support person to help you determine your safety plan for when it’s time to leave an abusive relationship. This could be staying with a friend or family member until you find a firmer footing.
Once safety is found, it can take some time to regain a sense of self, so give yourself grace. After being in an emotionally abusive partnership, your self-esteem has been impacted, and your perspective has been changed. You may take responsibility for the abuse that happened to you, even though it is not your fault.
Rychel Johnson, LCPC, is a licensed clinical professional counselor in Kansas. She owns a private practice, Empower Mental Wellness, where she specializes in anxiety treatment and social skills development. Rychel also enjoys extensive road trips and spending time with her husband, toddler, and two cats. Learn more about Rychel at rycheljohnson.com.
