A teacher makes a comment about their student looking “really good in that outfit.” A mother cries to her teenager, saying she “hasn’t had sex with your father in years and I’m lonely.” An aunt shares intimate details of her sex life with her young niece on multiple occasions.
Aside from the vile nature of these scenarios there is another factor linking all three situations together. Each scenario is an example of covert sexual abuse.
When the topic of sexual abuse is analyzed it’s the physical act of violence that is usually under a microscope. In order to understand what covert sexual abuse is one must learn what the signs are, the effects of covert sexual abuse, and most importantly outline what one can do if they think are they being abused.
What is Covert Sexual Abuse?
Covert sexual abuse is a type of abuse that is hidden. Covert sexual abuse usually does not involve physical injury however it does not mean covert abuse is not just as traumatizing.
Covert sexual abuse can be tricky to identify because sometimes the abuser does not even know that what they are doing is not normal nor okay. However, it does not excuse or justify their harmful and criminal behavior.
An abuser is intentional with how they abuse their position of power to manipulate their victim. The victim is not always aware that what they are experiencing, or have experienced, is abuse let alone covert sexual abuse.
An abuser could be a romantic partner, parent, sibling, or other family member, teacher, or family friend.
What are the Effects of Covert Sexual Abuse?
Covert sexual abuse inflicts life-long emotional trauma such as low self-esteem, post-traumatic stress disorder, sex addiction, and a poor sense of self-worth.
If someone develops PTSD some of the symptoms experienced could be any of the following : flashbacks, hypervigilance, depression, dissociation, and/or memory loss. Survivors of covert sexual abuse have said to experience issues maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships or difficulty with parenting their own child [1]. Additionally, survivors of sexual abuse have a higher risk than non-victims to develop anxiety, attempt suicide, or struggle with addiction [2.]
Covert Sexual Abuse vs. Overt Sexual Abuse: What’s the Difference?
Overt sexual abuse involves sexual assault, marital rape, and/or sexual violence. Where as covert sexual abuse does not involve physical injury and leans towards emotional and psychological trauma. Both overt and covert sexual abuse are deemed sexual violence as the implications the abuse have on the victim are life-changing. Overt sexual trauma leaves behind physical scars whereas covert abuse scars the mind.
Types and Examples of Covert Sexual Abuse
Since covert sexual abuse can easily go unnoticed it’s vital to learn the warning signs of covert sexual abuse. While there may not be physical harm done there is emotional trauma inflicted by the abuser who is oftentimes a parent, extended family member, family friend, or teacher. Some examples include, but are not limited to, the following :
- A teacher texting a student for intentionally ambiguous purpose.
- A romantic partner sexually exploiting their partner by taking advantage of their partnership.
- A mother repeatedly body shaming her young daughter’s developing body
- The objectification of children – a group of adults sexualizing a young child as a joke (including statements like “Wow, can’t wait until she’s 18!”).
What to Do if You are Being Covertly –or Overtly– Sexually Abused
It’s not safe to confide in everyone for emotional support and if you are unsure who or where to turn to you can contact RAINN’s (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) 24/7 hotline at 800- 656-4673. A trained professional will help connect you with additional resources to help you process what has happened to you. Additionally, there are websites such as Open Path collective and Inclusive Therapists where you can locate psychotherapists or support groups in your area.
If you did not realize until now that you have been covertly or overtly sexually abused then please take a second to know you are not alone. Abuse is meant to mislead and gaslight its victims and is common that those who have been or currently being abused do not realize it.
Olivia is a mental health writer and psychotherapist. As a licensed social worker and writer, Olivia leverages years of experience to provide insightful articles and blogs, fostering understanding in the realm of mental health.
